Monday, July 10, 2017

Wedding Dress Wishes Oxy Moron Or Not?

I work a simple job. It is a job that I give 110% of myself each and every time I go to work. Do I ever dread going to work? Sure, doesn't everyone? As the days come and go I stand behind a cash register scanning everyone's purchases where I see all kinds of people. Some will have a friend or family with them and while I continue scanning I hear their stories of how their lives are. I try to not engage in their conversation because I often wonder if what they are talking about is personal or not.

I love giving back to people and I love helping people all kinds of people. That is one thing I do best. Some people will be short $.50 cents and I do not worry if my till is short or not, I just ring up their purchase and let them be on their way. Some are shameful of not having enough and as always, I see the people standing behind them rolling their eyes in disgust that they may have to wait longer for me to ring up their purchases if someone is short in money.

I of course just shoot them a look and wonder if they have ever struggled or why they can be so heartless to another human being? Just the other day a young girl came through my line with her purchase that consisted of paper plates, plastic cups, plastic silverware, and generic napkins. For some reason her face was sad, it was one that was so noticeable and as I continued to scan her purchases it seemed as if she was ready to drop a tear.

I of course couldn't stand it anymore and I asked her if she was alright. She just nodded a jerky nod as I continued to ring up her items. Her boyfriend came lunging to the line tossing a paper mache bell that one opens and clips together. It was in the form of a wedding bell. I of course looked up and struck up a conversation with her.

"Oh wow, are you or someone you know are they getting married?" she turned her head in shame and told me that it was she who was getting married. I always thought when one got married they would be filled with joy, they would be beaming of happiness for the whole world to see. Yet, not her. No, she was so sad and I asked her why she was so upset.

She told me she is not getting the wedding of her dreams. Oh sure, loves the guy but she wants a fancy wedding, she wants to march down the isle in her dream wedding dress to take the man that she loves more than life itself to say her "I Do's" but that dream has passed.

I started Wedding Dress Wishes for the sole purpose to give back, to help so many brides in the situation as this couple standing in my line. She had no wedding dress to wear on the day of her wedding. She was getting married in jeans and a T-Shirt.

Every single bride, no matter who you are will always remember what she wore on the day of her wedding. I could tell that this girl would never ever have the dress of her dreams let alone the means to ever buy a wedding dress.

That is where Wedding Dress Wishes comes into play. Wedding Dress Wishes wants to take those dresses that are stunning, that are beautiful and turn a financially challenged bride into her own Cinderella. Why is it, the brides who can afford to be their own "Cinderella" they just can't seem to see financially challenged brides who dream of being Cinderella also?

My Dream Is Now Coming To An End

I have spend the majority of my career planning weddings. From lavish crazy weddings with outrageous budgets to simple backyard weddings that are still elegant yet they are just simple weddings. I have spent close to 30 years dressing brides, helping brides find that dress, picking up dresses from alterations, taking dresses into be cleaned, boxed and preserved and once that newly married bride takes her dress after I do all the running around, where does it go?

I'll tell ya where it goes! Right into the closet or the basement, or mom's house, or under the bed, and it will sit and sit and sit again. You will not touch it, you will not play dress up, you can wish and wish over and over that if you have a little girl that she too will wear the very dress you did on one of the most important days of your life.

If I had a dollar for every single time I told a mother watching her daughter prepare for her wedding, "repeat after me, this is YOUR daughter's wedding, not YOUR wedding" I could live in Trump Towers!

Every single mother who has a daughter getting married, they always pull out their wedding dress and show it off to their daughter then asking them, "it would be wonderful if you could wear my dress, it brought me so much joy, I want you to have the same joy as I did on the day I got married" and as I stood before the bride whos wedding I was planning watching her mouth drop and then quickly turning to me in absolute horror because her vision of her own dress is nothing like her mom's yet she doesn't want to hurt her mom, stumbles for the right words to say. So, just what do I say to the mom?

"I'm sorry, but I thought it was your husband that brought you so much joy on the day you got married. Did you marry your wedding dress or did you marry the man you loved so much?" 

Out of the 30 years of me doing weddings, I have NEVER seen a bride walk down the isle in her mom's wedding dress. Oh sure, I have seen brides sew in a portion of their mom's wedding dress into their dress or I have seen brides take their mom's wedding dress and cut it up and wrap a portion of the material around her bouquet, but I have never seen a bride thrilled with joy to wear her mom's dress.

Now, when I share my dream of wanting to give back to financially struggling brides and the donation of money to The Children's Miracle Network, oh sure I get plenty of praise for doing such a great thing, I get so many pats on the back, I get told over and over what I great thing I am doing, I get told that I am a wonderful human for wanting to do such a wonderful thing.

I get told over and over, "I have a dress you can have" but when it comes to actually wanting to "donate" their dress, they either ditch me, or they avoid me. Here is a great example!

I have a dress you can have, I want to give back, I want to support what your doing. 
Oh great, thanks so much, do you want me to come and get your dress or do you want to meet me somewhere? 
Can I have your number and I will call you with the details? 
Sure here is my number and thank you for wanting to give back and help me

3 weeks go by and I don't hear anything then suddenly I get a text message on my phone..

Hi this is Heidi we met at Starbucks and we talked about me donating my wedding dress
Oh yes, hi Heidi how are you? 
Great thanks! So why not come to my house today and you can come get the dress
Well, my daughter has an eye doctors appointment today at 11 but I can come right after that
Okay, great I look forward to seeing you. Here is my address

Two hours go by and then I get another text message from Heidi...

I forgot I have an appointment in Portland at one this afternoon, can we meet after that appointment, do you have other plans?
No not really, would you like me to come to your house still or would you like to meet somewhere? 
Well being that I am going to be out near you, let's just meet

Then fifteen minutes goes by and yet I receive another text message from her again...

I made another appointment for this afternoon, let's meet tonight after 8:30 (by this time I was becoming very leery of this person, I was beginning to wonder if there was ever a dress)
After 8:30! I'm sorry but I can't 
Well, I have to go out of town tomorrow so let's just plan on you coming over tomorrow 
I work until 4 I can come right after that
Sound great my partner will be home he can give you the dress for sure this time!

This woman lives 40 minutes from me in the mountains of Camas. I was so excited to get my first donation, I was going to take a picture of her and place it on my website I was going to share with the world my hopes and dreams can possibly come true.

So, I call my daughter Sela and tell her were driving to Camas to get a wedding dress and like I promised, I go after work and drive the crazy roads to her house. I arrive and knock on the door and guess what...NO ONE WAS THERE! I was so depressed, I was so sad, my vision of taking a picture of my FIRST donation was fading. The hopes of getting my first dress was gone! So I texted her back and I was filled with anger this time

So, I am beginning to wonder if I have the right address no one is here
You mean my partner didn't leave the dress outside on the treadmill like he promised me? 
Nope, no dress! 
I am so sorry, I really am, give me your address and he will for sure drop it off this weekend I promise

The weekend goes by and still NO DRESS!! 

Why The Crazy Look?

Why is when I ask someone to donate their dress to me they give me a look as if I am asking them to have sex with Satan and then birth his son? I then ask them...

Did the dress make your marriage or did you and your husband make your marriage? Just where is that dress now? Is it taking up space in your closet? Is it turning yellow somewhere? Are you ever going to wear it again? I even get told that possibly in the future they will want to renew their vows down the road. Are you going to be that same size as you were when you got married?

Do The Math!

What if you saved every single receipt from the purchases of new clothes, shoes, bras, underwear, purses, make-up, hair products, and you added that all together after one year, would it be more then what you spent on your wedding dress? If so, then why is it, you can gather up those clothes toss them into a bag and donate them yet, you cannot donate a wedding dress you wore ONCE?

This is a wedding dress that will make a bride who financially cannot afford a dress, the feeling of beauty, the feeling of hope, the feeling of happiness just as you did on the day you got married!