Thursday, July 6, 2017

This is what make you!

There is a slew of actions and words that make up a person and who they are. Okay, so I admit, my Compass of Life in regards to my personal life choices in the past did not always point dew North. But the one thing I do have is integrity to what I say, my honesty that can be brutal and yes, when needed I would give the shirt off my back to a mere stranger if need be.

Integrity is not a present from another person with a pretty bow that we receive and once opened, we are suddenly filled with integrity. The one thing that irritates me the most, and I mean the utmost is when one person tells me they are going to do something that means something to me, something important, something that represents who I am and what defines you, then without notice or warning, the rug is pulled out from under my feet.

Integrity means you are worth the patience we should be filled with, integrity defines you as a human being. When one lacks integrity it will forever follow you like that black cloud of horrible luck that just seems to never go away.

I blogged yesterday about how the dream is real, how what I feel is the most worth while thing when helping out in my community. I am a true believer that when you give from the heart, when you take the time to extend a gentle hand, a warm smile or give without ever expecting anything back or secretly telling yourself, "what's in it for me?" is the best gift one can give to someone less fortunate.

Two weeks ago I was sitting inside of a Starbucks minding my own business and working on what I believe is the greatest gift one can ever give a bride who faces the hardest financial issues of her life.  Just because one is financially challenged does not mean that she cannot dream of having the same wedding as one that is not financially challenged.

Three people within this Starbucks struck up a conversation with me and asked what I was working on. I shared my vision of women finding it in their heart to donate their wedding dress, a dress that is sitting around collecting dust, boxed up, shoved into the corner of their closet, or even when one says, "I want my daughter to wear it" (which after 29 years of weddings I coordinated, I have NEVER and I mean NEVER seen a bride wear her mom's wedding dress) and of course I was greeted with what an amazing idea.

I also shared how I am linked with OHSU (Oregon Health Science University) Children's Hospital & Children's Miracle Network. Dresses that are donated and sold to financially challenged brides and families who want to buy a wedding dress yet do not have the money to buy one gives back to the community, it gives a bride a sense of pride that her dream of ever wearing a wedding dress is going to actually come true!

I am a non-profit organization and I am just at the beginning stages of creating my dream, my vision of helping brides who struggle to gather up funds to buy a dress. Once a dress is purchased, part of those proceeds will go to OHSU.

Well, this one lady who was sitting with these three individuals suddenly perked up and told me with such excitement that she has a wedding dress that has just been sitting in her closet for some time and would like to donate her dress. I was overwhelmed with excitement. This would mean my first donation, that meant that someone saw my dream, they understood my vision, they wanted to help the more than 3,000 plus each children that are brought to OHSU for medical treatment for the desperate  help in order to live and to top it off, a financially challenged bride gets to buy a dress 40-60% off full retail or even less depending on their income.

We had exchanged information and I went back to working on my work and those three individuals went back to their meeting and conversation. Now, two weeks later, this woman gets a hold of me via text and tells me yesterday;


"Hi, this is Holly, I met you at Starbucks a couple of weeks and shared how I wanted to donate my dress to you" 

"Oh yes, Hi Holly" 

"I have an appointment in Portland, Oregon at 1pm is there any way you can come to my house this morning to pick up my dress?" 

"My daughter has a doctors appointment this morning but I can come right after that" 

"Okay, wonderful, here is my address"


Then we proceeded to talk more about what I wanted to have happen for my organization and how she knew a bunch of women who might want to do the same thing as her, donate their wedding dresses. I was growing so excited, I was thrilled with joy and I was beginning to see the light at the end of a very dark and frustrating tunnel as women looked at me when I asked them to donate their dress.

Then it happened! She pulled the rug out from under my feet and changed everything!


"Hey, it's Holly again, did I ever tell you that I was going out of town on the 5th of this month and won't be back until almost the end of the month?" 

I thought that was a strange thing to share but hey, I went with it, "no you never did share that" 

"Yeah, I am a massage therapist and I have a convention that I am going to and then I will be meeting up with my family for a vacation before school starts." 

"Oh wonderful." I shared back still unaware of why she was sharing this with me. 

"So, I think with your doctors appointment and my time restriction why not just meet tonight after 8:30?" 

"I am sorry Holly, but that won't work for me, I have something going on this evening." 

"Well, I just booked myself another appointment for today so meeting today is out of the question."


I was shocked at what she said, I was even more confused on why she got a hold of me telling me to meet her and gather up her wedding dress. I asked her directly if she was having any reservations for donating her dress and she shared no she wasn't. She even shared how she can't wait to meet my daughter, my daughter who was born at 29 weeks during my pregnancy and she too was a miracle baby. Holly even shared how her daughter and mine should get together and be friends because she is so close in age to my daughter Sela.

Then Holly shared, "Let's just get together after my trip, which now I don't know when I will be back my plans change like the wind with my life."

Why would someone tell me to meet them to get their dress, get me all excited and then tell me no its not a good idea? I get it, plans change, I understand that, but, when someone goes out of their way to have me make plans to meet them and then suddenly book another appointment rightfully knowing they are meeting me give me a feeling like they are casting me out like yesterday's garbage, is the rudest thing that someone can do.

Integrity People Integrity!

If this person Holly would have just gotten a hold of me and told me from the very beginning that she has been thinking of me and my organization and how she wants to donate her dress yet she has such tine constrictions for the day so lets meet up at the end of the month. That would have been far better than telling me;

I can't wait to meet you
I can't wait to see your daughter
I am so excited to donate my dress