Friday, June 16, 2017

When all else fails, create your U-Turn


Does anyone remember as a young child you would go to your mom and dad and tell them, "my throat hurts." and of course mom instantly slammed her hand into your forehead to see if you had a fever, dad rolled his eyes and would tell you, "you're still going to school tomorrow," and before you knew it, mom had a spoon full of the worst tasting medicine in your mouth demanding that you swallow when actually you wanted to throw it up.

Like that horrible tasting medicine, we come across people that will give you the advice that you don't want to hear and it creates that horrible taste in your mouth. Swallowing bad tasting medicine that your mom knows is good for you, is also the same in business. The advice given can be horrible yet you know what others are telling you is actually the best thing for you.

Well, yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking to several business owners regarding my recycled wedding dress business and why I wanted to do a non-profit. Several which I mean FIVE all told me the same thing, "Start as a profit making business and create a name for yourself and once established, then, you can change over to a non-profit. You want to gain trust within the community that you live and a great following and by doing that, you need to create a name first."

Okay, so the first business I walked into and was told what I need to do first, I angrily stomped my feet out of their business dragging my youngest daughter behind me and grumbling some obscenities under my breath. I know out of anger I think I created some new foul words and of course my daughter looked at me as if I was possessed while almost fearful of me.

Yet, when it came to the second business, and third and fourth, and finally the fifth and I was told the same yet in a different format that was when I knew I was in trouble. I was pissed because someone couldn't see my vision of what I wanted to do, what I wanted to create for families and loved one's who would be missing their child once gone.

Oh sure, I got the, "wow, your amazing for wanting to do that BUT..." I didn't want to hear that "BUT" within that sentence of the other looking back at me, and these were all very successful businesses. I didn't go to some mom and pop business stores or my local liquor stores, I visited other companies somewhat similar but not completely the same. For instance, I checked out a vintage clothing store, a resale clothing store, a wedding dress salon, etc. etc.

My daddy always told me, "if you got more than three people saying the exact or almost the same thing, maybe you should take stock in what they are saying and open your ears not your mouth."

So for now, my non-profit book is going to go on the shelf and I am going to focus on making my business cards and building my website. I happen to come across a dear friend of mine who owns Haute Madre a woman's recycled clothing store and I have to admit, she does pretty well for herself!

Her name is Michelle and she happens to know a woman who has her hands on several wedding dresses and wants to unload them and hopefully will give me a great deal. I am finding out that several women want to hold on to their wedding dresses for their daughter to wear when she gets married.

Well, after 29 years of doing weddings, I have NEVER EVER SEEN a bride wear her mom's wedding dress EVER! I have seen brides rip and tear apart their mom's wedding dress and incorporated it into their bouquet or have a portion of it sewn into THEIR CHOSEN wedding dress but NEVER have a seen a bride and I have done over 800 weddings walk down the isle in their mom's dress.

A bride wants to wear her own style of dress, she has her own fashion sense and she wants the dream of picking out her own dress and showing it off. A bride has dreamed of what her wedding dress will be like and that dream does not include walking down the isle in her moms dress. Oh sure, its an admirable thing to do and just about every mom wants to see their daughter in her dress but mom's have to remember and so many forget, this is YOUR daughter's wedding NOT YOURS!

God, if I had a nickel for all the weddings I did and for every break down that every mom had related to what her daughter wanted meaning the style, theme, food, invitation, I mean the list goes on and on, I would be filthy rich! So many mom's become engrossed in the planning of their daughter's wedding and they tend to forget it's not YOUR wedding, it's your daughter's wedding and I have told countless mom's over and over and over again, "it's not your wedding, it's your daughter's wedding so bite your tongue, write the checks and just breath."

There was one wedding I did and the husband and wife just separated three months before their daughter's wedding due to the husband being unfaithful. The dad went to the daughter and asked if he can bring his new girlfriend to his daughter's wedding. Wow, you should have witnessed the break down not just from the bride but from his wife! It brought a whole new meaning to the Hatfield's & McCoy's.

So For Now....

I am now creating my U-turn and so many of us when we have a dream of doing something, we can still do it but we may have take a U-turn and that's okay, we are still doing our dream we are just taking different avenues.

Think of it this way; when your driving in the busy downtown streets and your map quest tells you to go right and you are met with a dead end, do you give up or do you find another way to get to your final destination? No, you don't give up, you find your way around the crazy busy streets until you finally reach where your going.

There are always different ways of taking your journey, and you will come across one road block after another and you will be met with challenges that you thought you would never meet, but its baby steps and we must learn to walk before we can run.