Monday, June 5, 2017

My Mission

Okay, so I recently blogged about "What is Your Mission in Life" and after posting it, it probably sounded very contradicting especially when I shared how negative I was in my checking account. Being a single mother and all, and trying to make ends meet is very stressful.

Coming from a family such as mine, a family whose lives are a mere fish bowl for the world to glance at, we all had to portray success. So, when my brother reached success through Sun Micro Computers labeled as "Mr. Fix It" and traveling the entire globe and needing not one passport book but three, fixing computers of some of largest companies in the world, you can imagine the bragging rights my parents had.

Then I come along wanting to live what I deemed "normal" and how my parents viewed "normal" was like trying to create a recipe with oil and water. And to top it off, I throw in two daughters out of wedlock, one can only imagine the gossip that flew around the country club my parents belonged too.

I always loved helping people, I loved helping the less fortunate and my parents turned a blind eye to them. I often told others for years, "my mom is like the horses in New York Central Park, as long as she has her blinders on, and she can't see the surroundings around her, well, then it doesn't exist."

When I opened up my event management company and being a "self-taught" project manager, there was finally acceptance and beaming pride from my parents. Yet, I learned so much doing that business. I would sit and listen to the bride who yearned and dreamed of that "Robert Graham" wedding dress or the "Klienfield" wedding dress  often turning to knock-offs from one of the biggest leading wedding dress store, "David's Bridal."

I often accompanied these brides who finally accepted the fact that they would never see the day of ever walking down the isle in such designers and watching their dreams fade away of their gown choices. After more than twenty-years of dressing brides and watching their dreams fade, I knew some how, some way, I wanted to make their dreams come true.

The problem was achieving such a feat. And, of course, life got in the way. I had three daughters, been through one nasty relationship after another, five failed marriages always seeking for the "perfect" husband and never finding one. Funny, it seems like I was seeking the perfect husband and the bride was always seeking the perfect wedding dress yet, always settling for second best!

Everything I learned, everything I managed to do always led me back to wanting to fulfill my dream of helping brides. I remember when I started my event planning company and doing weddings for free because I wanted to give that bride a dream wedding that would forever be embedded into her memory bank.

For those weddings I did for free, I was always able to get vendors to donate their items such as table linens, chairs, center-pieces, flowers, and yes, even food. Little did I know or ever think that through all those years it was a stepping stone for making my dream come true. I was so wrapped up in my life and achieving success or running my house and trying to keep my kids afloat, I never really ever stopped to see where this could of led me in the future.

Now, here I am, 56 years old and in a place that I can do this and yet I am faced yet again with so many obstacles. My credit sucks and obtaining a 501c3 for people who wish to donate their wedding dress is yet a massive hurdle often leaving me stumbling for my next step as well as daunting work. It is almost stopping me from doing this yet again because of poor choices I made while trying to "find myself."

There are thousands if not millions who are seeking their mission and often find themselves in a corner and after struggling over and over what happens? They give up that is what happens. I have always said, "If I could only have someone reach down to me and lend me their hand, a hand that could help me, I would make a blow out company and also do good while creating such a dream."

By having one actually lend a hand do we appreciate the help, do we take advantage of that individual that could open those closed doors, give us that breath of air? Do we who seek the help allow us to be mentored and learn from that person? I know I would appreciate and honor that person, I would soak up their wisdom and knowledge like the sponge that sops up the spilled water.

One must be open to such a teaching, we must be willing to me molded and allow wisdom to enter, we must be able to let others educate us and not willing to throw in the towel when it gets tough because it will! Patience is a virtue and I am seeking the help while I would allow myself to be molded, I would invite the wisdom of another, I would honor that person and cherish what comes my way.

So, let the dream begin!