Monday, June 12, 2017

If You Seek Do You Really Find?

There is always that old adage, "be careful what your searching for, you may not like what you find." Man, oh man is there some real truth to that or what!

Trying to find ourselves is one of the most trickiest things one will ever do. Sure we do the same thing each and every day and follow what everyone believes is what we should do.

  • Grow up
  • Go to school
  • Go to college
  • Get a job
  • Fall in love
  • Get married
  • Have kids
  • Be house poor
  • Become broke
Somewhere amongst that pattern I just laid out we all begin to feel the pressure when we are in high school because your parents or extended family are breathing down your neck asking you, "so what do you want to do when you grow up?"

Hundreds of thousands of people will map out their life. For example, my best friend, her son told everyone he wanted to be an architect that is all he ever wanted to be. He studied hard in high school, graduated with honors, moved on to community college and of course graduated with straight "A's" and was accepted at one of the most prestigious colleges in Southern California.

He has now graduated, and of course landed a job as an architect and now realizes it is just not for him. How many times has that happened to us? I was always the shy kid growing up. I lacked great self-esteem and I always wanted the opposite of everyone said I should be and success was one thing I thought I always lacked.

I was always scared to push myself and do exactly what I wanted and I am now suffering the great consequences of those fears. For example, since I was so scared to speak out in public due to my stuttering problem, I always feared speaking in public. Speaking in public to me meant you had to be sure of yourself, you needed to feel secure with yourself and since I never did, I just stuck with waitressing. One dead end job after another. I became accustomed to that life style and just let it take over. Little did I know it was actually leading me somewhere.

I still have a firm belief that we need to take stock in ourselves and jot down what we feel are our greatest strengths and weakest strengths. For our weakest ones, we need to climb out of the box that we have become so accustomed to living, a box that has now given us security and create challenges for ourselves that we thought we could never do.

For me, it is selling wedding dresses. We need to follow what our heart of hearts really tells us to do not what is expected of us.

Wedding Coordination

To this day, I still remember working at a fancy restaurant as a food server and the manager coming in ready to pull his hair out in a total panic. The booked a very large wedding party of more than one hundred guest and trust me, it was falling apart right before his very eyes and he somehow lost control of the entire event.

I was standing next to the burners waiting for my food to come up and my heart just went out to him. I know how that happens and I too have lost control of a large dinner party I was working and needed the help of others to turn it around. Before I knew it, grabbed me by my hand and begged me to step in and help him out. Out of all the servers working that night, out of all the other servers that had far better talents then myself, he picked me. I still think it was because I was the only food server on close range of him.

I remember taking him by his hands and shaking him then yelling for him to get a grip and just talk to me. I first asked him what was missing, then what he needed, and I took it from there. I walked into the room with my pen and paper and went to each of the tables, took their drink orders first. Ran to the bar and ordered a multiple of drinks.

II gathered as many other servers and told them where they went and run! Then, the food, then the cake, the dance, the music and before you knew it everyone was laughing and mingling and having a great time. To this day I have no clue how I even pulled that off. 99% of the time I was just winging it and making it up as I went along.

As I got better at it, I became more aware of my surroundings as a wedding coordinator, it just kind of took off especially since I helped my continuing guest and their daughters wedding. I learned that the most important part of a wedding is...

The Wedding Dress!

How many people have walked away from any wedding and they talked about the wedding dress? TONS! Out of the 600 plus weddings I have done, during the night of the wedding that is all I ever heard.

Oh trust me I have heard,

  • Did you see that wedding dress, it is just ugly or what?
  • Man she wasted her money on that dress
  • Does she think she really looks good in that dress?
  • What was she thinking when she bought that dress?
  • It looks like she is just ready to burst out of that dress!
  • Did the dress cost more than the wedding?
  • Why would someone want to spend that much money on a dress you only wear ONCE?
  • That is one of the most stunning wedding dresses I have ever seen!
  • She looks like an angel!

I mean I have heard it all yet the one thing I also heard over and over, "this is not the dress of my dreams, I just settled for this dress because we couldn't actually afford the one I really wanted."

That just broke my heart, here is a lady who is marrying the man of her dreams supposedly and she is just "settling" for her wedding. There are so many women out there that cannot afford the dress of their dreams and that dream wedding is no longer a dream.  

I remember working at David's Bridal, that place is just insane! We had to sell over $2,500 dollars in wedding dresses each week and if we didn't, we got fired. That is how it was when I worked there. So the real truth behind that store is the wedding dress assistant will tell you how great you look even if it is the most atrocious wedding dress on a bride just to make a sale.

I REFUSED to tell a bride how great she looked in a wedding dress to make sale. I would be forthcoming and tell the bride that it is not in her best interest to even entertain the idea of trying on certain wedding dresses because it does not flatter her personality, figure, and the theme of her wedding.

Trust me, that pissed off my manager but oh well! Imagine, someone is coming to YOUR store and putting their trust in someone they DO NOT KNOW looking for guidance and acceptance let alone, spending hundreds on a dress that is ugly? I learned a great deal about wedding dresses and styling the bride when dressing her for one of the biggest days of her life.

I would pull out dresses that often the bride turned a blind eye too and told her, "trust me, this will work" and as always, when the dress came out and on the bride, tears would begin to fall.

So, now I am still trying to get my mission off the ground and start my non-profit and start to sell my wedding dresses. I already have three that I managed to buy.

1942 Vintage Wedding Dress

Let's see what happens!