Revenge, is it really good for the soul? At what cost would one go to for such retaliation to another? Being that social humiliation is associated with retaliatory behavior at the cost of the person who began the game, there is that always churning and wanting to bring one to their very knees.
The negative feelings I had toward Harry and the humiliation I suffered not just for myself alone, but for the loved ones near and far to my very own heart. There is the ever so famous part within the Bible, Exodus 21:23, which instructs us to "give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot" in a more simpler definition, "to punish the offender"
Once I learned of Harry's infidelity I was determined to get even, I had allowed him to come into my heart, my mind, and my life, as well as my children's life, not to mention my home, I opened my heart and soul to this man and fell in love with him so deeply there was never going to be any depths deeper in the ocean then the love I had for him.
But let's face it, we all have our breaking points and I had reached mine. Raiza begged me to be forgiving, she pleaded with me to "turn the other cheek" but the thoughts churning through my mind of exactly what I wanted to do to him, was it dark and ugly, of course! But in order to master mind my own game in order to bring this man to his very knees, I had to think like Harry, I had to "be" Harry so I did.
Each time he came home begging for forgiveness I accepted it but there was a cost for him doing what he did. Since he loved dumping gifts of guilt on me, I turned it around to have it work in my favor financially. I would tell him, "Let's go gambling" and once again I would pocket the money. I always knew when he was weak and he played on what he thought was my emotions, I made him take me shopping.
I had managed to score "legitimate" name brand items such as perfumes, diamonds, gold, sterling silver diamond necklaces, name brand purses such as Coach, Mark Jacobs, and if he said one word about spending to much money, I always reminded him in a fit of rage (which was staged of course) the countless tears that would begin to fall for such a broken heart I had experienced. Harry would begin to feel bad and that was when I lunged even more.
When he didn't come home, I played the game even more. I managed to get a brand-new car out of it. If Harry were to complain about spending to much money I always reminded him, "yes, me sitting at home like the stupid ass I am waiting for you while you dip your stick into someone else's taco." If he wanted to make love to me, I told him, "no, not now, I'm not in the mood."
There were plenty of times when he did make love to me, I would just roll off the bed, get dressed and walk out the bedroom not saying a word to him. He of course came after me telling me he wanted to hold me, to love me, and I would just turn to look at him and tell him, "oh, do you mean the same way you probably hold Goldie?"
His face would wash over with pain and sorrow, and I would retaliate with, "oh please, you don't feel that bad do you?" I soon began making myself unavailable to him. If he was home, I was gone, I never called him, I never did anything to give him any idea or thought I would be coming home soon.
If I needed money for anything you can bet Harry had his wallet open and he was giving me two to three hundred dollars each time. There were multiple times I had called him at work and I was known as his "wife" and if I was told he was unavailable or out of the office I would tell the receptionist, "oh he must be with his girlfriend then" of course that was always followed by, "what did you say, did you say his girlfriend?" and I would return her questioning with, "yes, Harry is a letch, a player, a male whore"
Harry's position at work was a well-known Senior Executive of Business and Finances he was known in the business world, many people counted on him, looked up to him, respected him, and his business sense and savvy always left people wanting to be "just like him"
So, when the elite office parties were planned I was also making my plans. At one of the biggest events in Harry's career, one that would change his world and set him even higher than he already was that was when I pounced, that was when I was going to take him out!
After Harry's great speech followed by an echoing applaud of gratitude of every person in the room, Harry left the stage then grabbing me and introducing me to many men and women I had never met before. There were executives, presidents of companies, senior sales directors, members of the chamber of commerce, you name it any one that was someone was there that night. Of course I played the part of the devoted loving wife beaming my fake smile and shaking hands of the many that were introduced to me.
When the countless other men in the room would approach Harry and myself with their wives telling both of us how much they wanted to be just like the great Harry Meijer, and Harry would proudly be holding me showing me off to the world, I would also follow through with, "well be sure to have a slutty mistress on the side and let's not forget lying and making fake love to them." I was determined to grab Harry's world and rotate it in the opposite direction.
You should of seen the looks on the men and women around us. It was as if their eyeballs were balancing off the tips of their noses. Their mouths hung open followed by a quick uneasiness so unsure what to say after I blurted such an embarrassing note regarding Harry.
Harry was desperately trying to pick up the pieces of his now shattered image, and I just stood there in my $1,000 dollar evening gown with my sinister grin it was as if I was the cat that ate the canary.
"Excuse us please" Harry told everyone around us. He grabbed my arm squeezing it which was supposed to be his way of keeping me quite I guess, "what the hell are you trying to do to me, what is going on with you?" Harry was fuming mad, I had never seen him so embarrassed or angry before.
I would just look at him so cold and uninviting, my eyes piercing right through him then telling him, "let go of me before all these "wanna be" Harry Meijer's really learn all about you."
"What's wrong Harry? I'm just playing your game, aren't I? Besides, you flattering me by calling me a bitch right now is not going to work. It doesn't turn me on." The once lively group of people that surrounded us now had disbursed within the room whispering to others what I just shared about Harry. I could feel all eyes staring at us, and Harry stood there helpless so unsure what to say.
He always came back with, "you're such a bitch" and me of course would get so close to him, rubbing his back then nuzzling his neck as I guided my mouth to his ear nibbling in a sexual way breathing hard on him whispering how I wanted him, how I had to have him right then and there as my hand trailed down the front of his pants softly grabbing his crotch giving it a gentle loving squeeze. I was arousing Harry yet I would stand back and look at him with such hatred in my eyes,
I remember picking up my drink then giving my toast to Harry, "here's to you baby, don't you have a slut you need to run too?"