We watch people at red lights, we watch people at our local grocery stores as they pass by us with little red baskets filled to the brim struggling to walk because of the weight of the little red basket and we wonder why they didn't just get a grocery cart. We may giggle even at the action of a small child challenging its mother then watching the mother coming completely unglued either with rage or dismay that their own child behaves in such a way that surprises even the mother herself.
I am a people watcher, I love to watch people and often shocked at the behavior of so many others. The biggest shock for me is when some guy has his jeans strapped with a belt so tightly all the way down to his thighs walking like a Penguin only to expose his underwear.
I often ask myself as I watch a young teen walking past me like a Penguin, "I wonder if he knows just how stupid he looks"
The Sleeping Dragon Awakes
Playing on someone's own weakness is a sign of cruelty, it is a sign of wanting control or uttering the words, "I've got what you want so desperately, but, just what are you willing to do or give me in order to get what I have and you want?"
The "Sleeping Dragon" in Savi has awoken. I had no idea who she was talking to, who was saying what to her but she was going to make sure that she got what she wanted and she didn't care who she hurt along the way or what she did in order to gain full control.
Manipulation was the name of her game and she was going to make sure to drag this out as long as she could and get what she wanted out of it. I wasn't sure if she was getting what she wanted with a master plan of scaring away this loving couple who she had agreed to the adoption process of her baby or if she was testing the waters to see just how bad they wanted a baby.
I finally made the decision that she was in fact testing the waters. I couldn't even wrap my head around what she was going through. I was almost positive it was and will be the hardest decision that one must ever make. I often wondered if my birth mom felt the same way. To feel me kick inside her belly, to feel me move about only to go through hours of labor and then hand me over to someone else, I was positive it was just torture and rapture on her brain let alone Savi's brain.
But, and this is a HUGE BUT....when she started coming home from shopping sprees of new clothing, new electronic toys such as a cellphone, shoes, purses, makeup, hair products, I could tell that she was milking Cassandra and Phillip for all they had. I knew that once she saw the hundreds of thousands of dollars they had in the bank, the sleeping dragon had awaken.
I confronted her with my carefully chosen words how she was playing on the mercy of this couple by getting them to buy her whatever she wanted and when she wanted and all she could tell me was...
(Drum roll please) "They want my baby, my baby that I am carrying, they will give me what I want, when I want, and I don't care what it cost. They have money so who gives a shit?"
Savi knew of course the four failed adoptions that both Cassandra and Phillip went through and she instantly honed in on their panic along with their fear of rejection once more. She became that ugly fire breathing dragon roaring its head cornering her victims tossing burning flames from her mouth threatening to torture or maim them if they do not give her exactly what she wanted and when she wanted it.
Cassandra did not make it any better by telling Savi that if this adoption fails, she is not sure she could survive this bleak emptiness dark pain any longer. I was humiliated that she was my daughter, I was embarrassed for Savi and this family. When she came home from her shopping spree with a brand new Coach bag with a price sticker shocker of $500.00 I wanted to kill her. I demanded that she return all the crap she came home with and to think about what she was doing but she stopped me mid sentence and told me it was none of my business.
I had decided to take matters into my own hands and called Cassandra at work. She had agreed to meet with me and talk about Savi. I asked her to keep it between us and when she told me she didn't know if she could, I knew that Savi got to her through her manipulation. I stuck to my guns and reminded Cassandra that she is in fact a minor and that I just wanted to talk to her.
Later that day we met and once we sat down at the local café I thanked her for the kindness of the gifts and immediately Cassandra told me it was no big deal. That was when I decided to share my story. I could see her eyes beginning to well up, I could see the sympathetic look on her face sharing my adoption and what my mom went through on order to keep me.
How my mom hid from the world for six months from fear of losing me. Adoption process back in the sixties meant that if a mother who gave her baby away had yet six months to come back claiming she wanted her baby back and the adopted parents couldn't do a damn thing about it but give back the baby to her.
I told Cassandra I understood what she was going through and why she was doing what she was yet this was being blown out of proportion. Our meeting was interrupted by Phillip that joined us. The crazy thing was he agreed with me, he said that Savi was taking advantage of them yet Cassandra dug her heels into the ground and stuck with whatever Savi wanted, Savi got.
I knew that she was so desperate for a child she would go broke just to have one. I felt so bad for her. Here I was with three kids and she couldn't have one. Phillip even tried to persuade her to stop the spending but she refused.
I sighed a heavy sigh and gave up but I did tell her I would talk to Savi and share this meeting with her and I was not going to back down.
"Do you even have any idea what your putting this woman through, do you understand that she would go broke to have a baby. She and Phillip have spent $20-30,000 thousand dollars for each invitro-fertilization and she had FOUR and they failed." I asked Savi when I returned home.
Savi just ignored me she didn't give two shits what I was saying to her. She gave the impression that I was boring her with this conversation and then she bolted from her bed and yelled back at me...
"This MY BABY! she wants MY BABY she has to play my game. How dare you go and talk to her, you had no right to do that."
I just stood there it was now my turn to dig my my heels into the ground. I was never so disgusted with her ever in my life. My anger had went from a level ten to a level fifty. I was just beyond pissed.
"That's fine, you want to play this game, you go right ahead, because when this is all said and done, it is going to explode in your face and your the one who is going to be left empty handed. Your doing this by playing on the sympathy of a woman who would go broke to have a child, but you go right ahead you keep doing what your doing because Karma is a bitch you bitch."
(And yes, Karma does a way with returning, years later because of the countless multiple STD's that Savi got, the drugs, the alcohol, she was informed at twenty four she was sterile and never would be able to produce a child)