Monday, February 6, 2017

Capture the moment

Don't you ever wish you could walk around with a camera to capture those "Ah Ha" moments? There is always those moments in our lives we wished we had a camera to capture that special moments or something that will hopefully be etched in our brains. We want to store it in a file so we can go back and revisit that moment forever.

Then we have moments in our lives that we never want to revisit, we know it will forever be etched in our memory no matter how we try to forget it, we often say, "I will go to my grave remembering this moment." There is no amount of therapy, vacations, counseling, whatever tips your hat, you and the rest of the entire world will have something that has either happened to us or we witnessed that we shall never forget.

1/2 cup of tension, 1/2 cup silence, and 1 cup of pain = Disgust Cake

Of course I caved, of course I did, I wanted to believe it was because I was a good person, not because she was my daughter or that she was pregnant, but when you throw tension, silence, and pain into the recipe it then becomes "Disgust Cake"

My mom and I had began talking almost daily. It was the cheapest form of therapy for me. I call her screaming and yelling and she just sits and listens to my bitching and venting. But she did happen to tell me, "you are doing the right thing letting her back into the house. If you don't do it for Savi, at least do it for the baby."

Savi and I just made sure to stay out of the way of each other. It was the most uncomfortable situation when two people who loath each other shares a home, a space, you just become divided. If we didn't have to talk to each other, we didn't. Dio and Savi once again made up and he was the one making the trips to the doctors appointments with Savi. For me, I had to get on with my life. I took a job at one of the leading pest controls company as an outside sales rep. I had made arrangements with Felix to come over each morning so he could sit with Sela while I worked and someone would be home for Sara when she returned from school. It was ideal for both Felix and myself. He got to spend time daily with his daughter and I had someone home for Sara each day.

It felt great to get out of the house and away from Savi, the tension, pain, and loathing that we had for each other but for also getting a paycheck finally and when I returned home she was always gone with Dio each night. His family finally welcomed Savi with open arms and accepted her as an un-wed single pregnant teen. My guess, they saw how much Dio loved her and how he stood by her side no matter what choices were to be made. Personally, I think he wanted her to keep the baby and raise it as his own, but the adoption process was moving along and soon it would surface.

I looked forward to getting up and going to work each day facing the world and seeing that life does move on. I kept my crazy mixed up life to myself never sharing my family life with anyone. I was well into my second month of working at this company and that was when I met Harry Meijer.

One cup sexy, one cup passion, one cup desire = Harry Meijer

Every single woman on the planet dreams of having a "Harry Meijer" in their life He was sexy, suave, confident, funny and very successful. He had made "Salesman of the month" over and over winning awards, trophies and bonuses. Every single sales person within the company as well as other pest control companies knew just who he was and many sought him out seeking how to land a difficult account. Everything he touched turned into a sales contract which then turned in big money for him.

I was warned by so many women within the company that he was a player when I shared my admiration for him. I was just drawn to him like a moth to a flame or light. I would go weak at the knees when I saw him. There was just something about him that made me want to pounce on him.

I had managed to land an appointment at a large car dealership hoping to utilize our pest control services. Sharing my excitement for the appointment with our manager Barry,  he then told me if I didn't land this account I can seek employment else where. My track record for landing accounts was non-existent no matter how many times I tried I just couldn't figure out how to charge companies for our pest control services. I was now desperate to land this account, and as Cassandra sold her soul to get Savi's baby, I too toyed with the idea of selling my soul to land this account.

So, I called Harry Meijer. Funny thing is, he knew just who I was. We had never formally met because I was always so scared to walk up and introduce myself due to the lack of confidence but also embarrassment for not having any accounts under my belt. I was surprised that he knew who I was but he immediately agreed to meet me at the dealership and walk me through the introduction, how to measure for services, and promising me he would help me land the account.

The crazy thing is he wasn't some drop dead GQ model type it was the absolute opposite. He was a balding man on the top of his head and  slightly pudgy, he had sexy big black eyes, slightly natural tan skin that rough sexy voice, a smile that made me feel like butter in a scalding hot pan. I just melted when I saw him drive up to the dealership then get out of his car watching him walk up to me then greeting me with his sexy smile, His cologne was intoxicating, his appearance impeccable,  for that brief moment I forgot I was at the dealership. I wanted to grab him and taking him so I could pleasure him.

We strolled through the dealership with the accounts manager and as Harry talked I just stared with amazement and then suddenly without warning, they signed the contract and boom! I had an account finally under my belt. Once we were back to our cars I was shocked and elated what he did for me and without thinking I lunged to hug him and that was when I could feel his hands moving to the small of my back pulling me in tightly to his body then hugging me back giving me a gentle loving squeeze.

When we parted, I felt embarrassed that I hugged him that way but his smile said differently, his smile said he enjoyed holding me. He suggested we go to other businesses in the area and before I knew it, we managed to land three more accounts. One of the accounts was a small beaten down motel off of 6th Street. Once in the room he began gazing at me as I was with him. It was so magnetic between us both. He took me in his arms gently leading me to the bed and I quickly allowed him to lay me down. There he kissed me parting my lips with his tongue then plunging into my mouth deeply giving me a kiss I had never experienced before.

I could feel his arousal growing and my body becoming hot and heavy, but I quickly gained sense of what we were there to do and I pulled him off of me then jumping from the bed. I apologized profusely but he lunged at me telling me not to apologize. He shared with me how he was staring at me during the monthly meeting then asking many people who I was. He told me he was intrigued with me then claiming he wanted to get to know me better.

But I feared sharing my life, I feared if he knew anything about me and my relationship with Savi, he would shun me then tossing me aside like last weeks trash. I gathered my things making a quick exit out of the room deciding getting to know him and having this enchanting sexy man in my life was just bad timing, so I decided to keep Harry at both bay and an arms length. I had to protect myself while trying to not humiliate myself anymore than I already just did.

Because my life was in such turmoil, having someone in it was just not in the cards for me...or was it?