Thursday, December 8, 2016

Time still moves on

Time does not stand still nor is it our best friend when we feel such pain. We can look out the window and see other's lives continue. We can see people laughing and living it up having a blast with their life yet we just feel like our life stands still. Sometimes we try to surround ourselves with positive people and yet the anger still rages deep down inside. We can be conflicted with how other's lives is so put together or seemingly appears to be put together, and yet, we could not put our puzzle of life together even if the pieces were in jumbo size and only ten pieces.

I had just about given up on child support, fighting Rick, listening to my parents complain and moan and groan with how their lives were dishing out for them. I was sick and tired of hearing my brother constantly reminding me of how I had turned everyone's lives upside down. I prayed every single day that his life would come to a screeching halt or he would have to struggle financially just so he can get a taste of my life.

If anyone knows me they know I am the very first person to stand up and take blame for things I have put upon myself, I will not blame anyone for my own actions yet at the same time I blamed Rick for treating me so badly. I tried to leave Rick countless times, I tried to escape during the night, I tried to escape when he was at work.

We all know that there are doctors, psychologist, therapist, that will sit there and say, "Yes, I know your pain except you always add that word "BUT" there are no "BUTS" you are in control of your own destiny."

I was either locked into the multiple apartments we lived in when he left for work, or I was so beaten if tried to go outside I would make the Zombies of the "Walking Dead" look more beautiful then myself.

Savi and Sara were growing in leaps and bounds. Rick had now met and fell in love with a woman named Jackie and my heart just went out to Jackie. She, very much like myself, came from a well-to-do family. Her father a very prominent dentist to the Hollywood Stars, countless millionaires, now had a daughter chasing after Rick. Rick played the part very well. Jackie also fell into the same dark, cold hole as I did. "My love for Rick will change him" 

Rick was now becoming the master manipulator just a master at his worst talents. You could be sucked into his very deceiving life and not even know it. It is sorta like that dust ball that hides behind your couch. It just doesn't see the vacuum coming and before that dust ball can dodge the vacuum it just sucked right into it.

Jackie was at the time a pre-school teacher. She graduated with her masters in education from UCLA, she had her own house, her own car, her own bank account. She would eventually end up like the shaking mouse in the snakes cage contemplating its death.

I remember very clearly when Rick brought her over to my parents house so that the girls could meet her. I just stood there shaking my head back and forth as she beamed joy and love for Rick. The gleaming love in her eyes for this asshole was more than I could stand. I was just ready to puke and I almost felt sorry for her. As Jackie continued to share her life with me I just stood there dumbfounded at her gushing love for this man.

"Wow, rose colored glasses seem to suit you very well Jackie." Savi was all to interested in getting to know her. She let Jackie hold her and love her. I of course was beyond pissed. Was I jealous, of course I was. I wanted to rip my child out of her arms and yell and scream for her to have babies with this idiot and then she can mess up her own kids lives but not mine. Yet, Savi was more then willing to go anywhere at anytime with both of them.

Sara on the other hand was more reserved. She wanted to stay with me, she put up a good fight screaming and yelling mommy over and over begging to stay with me. I of course wanted to do the right thing and made Sara go with her idiot father and the rose colored glasses Jackie.

As the months dragged on Rick and Jackie appeared without notice at my parents front door sharing how they are now engaged. Sara was becoming more accepting of Jackie yet I could tell she still struggled with going with all of what appeared the perfect family.

"So, Jackie, let me ask you this, how much of your savings is gone with you paying for almost everything? How many holes are in your walls now from Rick punching them? How many times has he gotten drunk with you and wanted to beat your face in? How many times has he forced sex on you when you didn't want sex with him? How much longer are you going to allow this man to take control of you before you wake up to see him for what he is?"

Of course Jackie recanted with "never, he has never done that to me nor will he ever do that, I am much stronger than you."

So weeks before the wedding instead of sending a wedding card I sent her a sympathy card. I went to prop it outside the mailbox noticing that the mail had already arrived. As I dug through the mail I found something so shocking. I ripped open the envelop to find a check in the amount of $4,333.87 cents made out to me along with a statement;

"For the payment of child support due to loss of child support for the past year." I jumped for joy!! I was so elated, I couldn't believe I actually received money. I called my mom right away telling her that I had gotten the check and she too was excited. I immediately went out and bought diapers, food, toys for the girls and gave my parents the rest of what was left over.

Days before the wedding I of course got a phone call from Rick. He was so pissed!!

"I want my earned money back you bitch! that is my money, that is not your money. That money was to be used for Jackies wedding ring and our wedding along with our honeymoon. So help me God, you cash that and spend it I will come hunt you down and you will pay." good thing I had recorded that statement from him. Out of the advice of my dad he told me to start recording all my conversations with Rick. He had supplied me with a small recorder he often used in many of his cases.

"Sorry, it's already spent, you seem to feel that child support is not required when you have kids but the court seem to feel you are required to pay me money each month for your daughters."

"We agreed to not pay child support, you even agreed to that."

"Where in the hell did you come up with that idea, who in their right mind would ever agree to that? That is your fantasy not mine. I am appealing my child support and now seeking wage garnishment along with all tax returns or, you can go to jail. I am fully pushing forward for what is your daughters money."

"Fine then you bitch, I won't work, I will leave you empty handed I am not paying you any money when your parents are fully capable of paying for the girls."

"Okay, you want to play that way, let's play, I will king you and take your game Rick. You don't want to play I will see to it your going to jail. That is so like you to leave it up to everyone else to support your sorry ass isn't it?"

I slammed down the phone and I felt a rush of excitement flow through my body. I finally did it, I finally stood up to him. My heart was racing from both fear of what he will do but more for the ability to standing up to him.

"Oh yeah Rick, all of our conversations are being recorded. So, when we go to court for a follow up on the child support case in two weeks, I will use this against you. I don't think that a judge is going to be in your favor this time."

"I am going to kill you, you stupid bitch."

"Your still being recorded Rick."

I felt empowered, I felt safe, I felt like I finally was feeling free from his threats and demeaning way. I had a spring in my step and I was finally beginning to feel whole once again.


Court Date


"You so much as play that tape of me speaking to you, I make sure to my daughters, leave with them, and never bring them back. Wait..where is that recorder, so help me God, you have that on you right now, I will smash it like I will your face."

I just turned in front of him and entered the court room. I sat down where I was instructed to by the bailiff along with all the papers I had received along with my giant check from his tax garnishment. I then took out of my pocket the recorder in which I had just recorded our conversation outside the doors of the court room.

"Do you have any new evidence of any child support for yourself in regards to Savi and Sara?"

"Yes your honor, I do, I would also like to submit evidence to the court the conversations between Rick and myself within the last weeks that just passed and the most recent one just before we entered your court your honor."

"I'd like to hear it. Hand it over my bailiff please." the bailiff took the recorded then handed it to the judge and when he pressed play, I never ever saw Rick more fearful about something ever before. I could see the fear in his eyes, the beads of perspiration on his top lip as well as his forehead. I could see his hands beginning to shake. I just stood there watching him funny thing is, he never once even looked at me. Funny how he seems so mighty and so powerful everywhere else but now that I had this evidence on him, he resembled Superman with his kyroptonite crumbling to the judge playing my new evidence.

"Well, well, well, Rick, what do you have to say for yourself now?'