No one ever really knows why other's do what they do, we can go and people watch at the mall grab some coffee, cop a squat and just watch. We try to rationalize in our heads why people do what they do and yet we just can't seem to come up with an answer. I don't know about you, but when I people watch and I see people doing things that just spin my head, I then begin to wonder if people are watching me when I am out with my two daughters.
I must look like a mother on crack. The dark tired under eye look, the battered skin, the messed up hair, no makeup, and of course I was a human snot rag for not just the snot from Savi, but, for the formula that Sara was now drinking, the spit up, and any other thing that came either out of the mouths of my daughters or their butts.
I could of sprayed the most expensive perfume on me at the mall and I still would of smelled like a used diaper, formula, cookies from Savi, and baby wipes. Here I was coming down the mall with two babies in one stroller. One screaming to get out, one screaming to be fed, a diaper bag in tow along with a purse, keys, and me in my sweats and not giving two shits of what I looked like. Exhaustion looked better than me.
I remember when Savi was barely three years old. I went inside a store located in our quaint mall. My mind just wasn't working that day I don't think. Maybe a lack of coffee or maybe just a lack of oxygen. I found some cute clothes purchased them and then left the store actually glad that I found something cute that I could fit into. As I was strolling down the mall I realized half-way down the stroller seemed a lot lighter. I stepped in front only to notice that Savi was no longer in the stroller.
I of course freaked out. Like when someone loses their keys to the car or forgets their wallet when they are just dying to purchase something. Now this was only a two person stroller that means only a two person seat. But I began ripping that stroller apart as if it was a twenty person seat. I grabbed Sara by one arm dangled her in mid-air while she started screaming, I began screaming, and then I did what we all do, I began thinking where I saw her last. I threw Sara into the stroller popped a wheelie and began going at the speed of sound back to the store where I made my purchases.
I could feel my heart racing, I imagined calling my mom and dad and telling them, "hey, did you guys ever lose me in the mall? Because I lost Savi in the mall, I don't know where she is. The last place I saw her was in the stroller but now she is gone." I was running into people, slamming people on their heels with my stroller as they screamed obscenities as I passed them, tears running down my eyes while fearing the worse when you lose a child.
I plowed into the store screaming hitting customers and knocking down mannequins screaming I lost my daughter is she here, did she get out of the stroller in this store? The manager began frantically searching the entire store. The dressing rooms, the backroom, behind the register nothing. Savi was no where to be found. I began screaming and just coming unglued. Sara was screaming from the commotion, and I just stood there blank not caring.
The manager called mall security and mall security called the local police. So what happens when you lose a child in the biggest mall? They do an automatic lock down closing each and every door in the mall. I mean each and every single door that either lead to the outside parking lot, elevator doors, fire escape doors, everyone was either locked in and others could not get in. Me standing there with snot running down my face, I can't speak because of the blubbering of cries, I was shaking uncontrollably while the manager tired to console me.
Then it happened, Savi popped out from under the rack of the clothes giggling and laughing, like it was a joke. There I was now crouched on the floor hysterical following by screaming that only dogs could hear how I lost my child, I managed to draw a huge crowd around me and of course everyone was pointing fingers while whispering, "what kind of a mother loses her own child" or there were people whispering, "poor woman, she lost her child" and then there were others that said, "when I bring my child to the mall I know just where they are"
Right at that moment I knew that she was going to be my nightmare child. She was going to push every single button, try every single thing to drive me crazy and as far as I was concerned she had this master plan of making me insane. Imagine a small two year old already mastering the art of driving me crazy.
Little did I know that this was only the beginning of my nightmare